| Pulling No Punches |
[13 Dec 2005|02:08am] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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"Ready?" Joseph asked as he glanced across at Matthew who happened to be leaning up against the nearest wall.
Matthew gave a nod of his head, "Ready." He swept his eyes over Joseph and found himself wondering if getting the man out of hospital had been the best idea in the world. He had a lot of injuries and none of them had healed completely and one eye was nearly closed due to the bruising and swelling around it though Matthew didn't think that Joseph would take too kindly to his criticism so he kept quiet.
Joseph may have looked like hell but he felt better because he was wearing his own clothes, he had his guns and he was actually doing something about finding Rhiannon instead of relying on someone else. He lifted his hand, curled his fingers and rapped rather solidly on the door in front of him. "Be in, be in," He muttered quietly as he fixed the wood with a very intent stare.
Matthew hoped that the man they had come to see would be in and wouldn't be out; he doubted Joseph could take another disappointment.
There was a universal disappointment to hotel rooms. The beds were never firm enough, the hot water tanks never contained enough to offer more than a three-minute reprieve from the outside world. The walls were either a dingy eggshell or covered with wood panelling. Either way, there was absolutely no soundproofing, as Whistler discovered via the couple next door who displayed more sexual energy than a Vorash demon in heat.
He finally bought the damned nail clippers. And for good measure, a set of large towels from the K-Mart just outside of town. He wasn't going to be caught with his ... pants down a second time.
If he was going to stay local, Whistler needed to do two things. Find a job and a bachelor apartment.
The knock on the hotel room door startled him a bit. He'd spoken briefly with Rhiannon -- enough to know she was safe and healing -- but Whistler wasn't expecting house calls. He said a silent prayer that it wasn't the neighbours looking for a third party as he opened the door.
( All This Testeorone )
"It's been a long couple days," Joseph admitted with a brief humourless smile as his weight relied heavily upon the wooden doorframe itself. "I'm not up to my usual par because if there's one thing I don't do well, it’s admitting defeat. How the fuck do you think I survived as long as I did in that camp?" Joseph had taken vicious beatings at the hands of those demons and even as they had attempted to grind down his spirit, he had never let them.
His head turned and his eyes glanced back at Whistler, "I'm gonna take a big leap here and assume that you're the one who’s been looking after her since that day I saw her.." A brief look of genuine appreciation flickered across Joseph's face, "If nothing else, I am grateful to you for that." He now exited the room and started down the corridor at snails pace.
Matthew paused in the doorway and looked back at Whistler, "We'll be sure not to consider this our 'Last Outpost'." There was an intensity in Matthew's gaze that tended to make most people uncomfortable and now was no different, "Keep in touch." A brief almost peculiar smile caught the Watcher's lips until it was gone and he was now leaving the motel room.
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| Slipping |
[13 Dec 2005|09:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 weird |
] |
------ Non Journal Entry ------
Joseph's asleep in the next room and you can't help but wonder if he knows that he talks in his sleep, if he knows he tosses and turns and if he knows you can tell he's dreaming.
Not that it matters, you're not interested in him, you're interested in what rests in the middle of the living room and it doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself it's a bad idea, you can't stop yourself. It's like a drug, one taste is all that you need and before you know it, you want another taste and then one becomes two. It never stops and you don't know if you want it to stop.
Fingers itch and body tingles, you know that something is wrong; you know that you're not yourself but you aren't stopping this. You aren't turning away because you like the way you feel and you like that you are no longer affected by the things that everyone else seems so shaken by.
Eyes are dark, heavily shadowed by lost nights of sleep and restless thoughts. The voices are there, whispering and you find yourself doing something that you shouldn't, you're listening and slowly but surely, those voices are beginning to make sense.
Your head turns when Joseph stirs and you hear his footsteps echoing across the wooden floor. Nerves spike and panic rises until everything is a blur and you're scrambling to snatch up the stone and to hide it as far away from Joseph as you can get it.
The door slams shut after you and you stop there for a moment, leaning back against the wood and heaving in deep gulping breaths. Your hand is wrapped around the stone and its grip is possessive, it would take the strength of four men to get that stone away from you.
Without so much as a backward glance, you're taking to the stairs and you're leaving the apartment behind.
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| Long Time No Talk |
[13 Dec 2005|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
The strangest thing happened when I got up to get a drink of water, Matthew bolted out of my apartment and it's been hours ...he still isn't back.
Makes me wonder if he's actually coming back and definitely leads me to ask the questions I've refrained from asking as everyone has their own personal shit, everyone has their right to privacy.
Watcher's been weird the last couple days, really jumpy and I know he hasn't been sleeping. I wonder if there's something going around that I should know about? For a guy whose supposed to have all the answers, I have ..nothing.
Damon called, seems to think he has a good lead on Rhiannon and that meeting with Whistler went ..as well as I might have expected. Heard some things that I myself have been turning over and over in my head. Good, bad, decision, at the end of the day I made the decision and whatever the consequences, I'll live with them because as my father once said, a man takes responsibility for his actions.
Maybe I should think about looking for Matthew, he had a weird look on his face before the door slammed shut after him. A look I've seen before but only on the faces of men that know that they're doing something they shouldn't which leads to me to wonder what Matthew is doing that he shouldn't be doing. Not that I can talk, I've done plenty of stuff that I shouldn't so I guess I should probably let him learn from his experience.
On another note, painkillers are a God send though I'll have to watch my intake ..got a slightly addictive personality and I don't think swapping cigarettes for painkillers would be much of a step forward. More like six steps back.
Not being feeling much like myself but I guess that's to be expected and this thing with Rhiannon, I can't stop thinking about it. I see her every time I close my eyes and the ring hanging from my chain keeps pressing down on my chest. I can't wear it on my fingers, still too thin to fit ...mildly depressing when you think about it.
Beginning to second guess myself and everything I did or said, the light is shining bright and my eyes are squinting up against it in the attempt to see, code: sense is returning to me.
I have to work out what I want to say and how I want to say it ..when I find her, better to go in with a plan instead of nothing which is all that I have at the moment. Might just speak from my heart, hasn't always worked for me in the past but at least all that I say will be honest.
However having said all that, I'd better try Matthew's phone and maybe see if I can find him.
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| About Time |
[13 Dec 2005|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mellow |
] |
Normality is finally returning to the small town of Searchlight.
Though the statement seems a little stupid considering nothing is ever normal in this town. I'm not even normal and a lot of people I know aren't what most people classify as normal.
Hannah's safe, two little words that mean more to me than I thought ever possible. I came so close to losing her, I don't plan on ever taking her or anything that we have for granted but when you live as long as I have; you learn not to do that.
Having to get back to work soon, I officially have no more vacation left but it doesn't bother me. I took the days when I needed them the most and work's pretty easy.
I'm just glad that she's home safe and that the others held in that camp are running free once again, demons killed and the world safe for another couple weeks until another group gets the bright idea that destroying it will be just the greatest idea in the world.
You'd think that they would learn, wouldn't you?
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| Ages Ago |
[13 Dec 2005|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
Been a really long time since I've written anything that passes for personal in this journal.
I guess you could say that life just moved too fast and I just didn't get the time. It would be partially true as there is that and there is also the fact I'm not all that good with expressing myself especially when it comes to anything personal.
The situation with the camp has resolved itself, the prisoners are free and the demons are killed. New allies made, old enemies ..growled at, all in all, it was a successful trip.
Spoke with Corbett and made sure he agreed to no guilt trips, I've already been through that with one Watcher and I'm not going through it with another. The other one ran and I don't want this one to run, I might actually like him enough to open up to him but ...I'm not holding my breath. I'm just bad at letting people in and it's a flaw but one I'm working on improving.
Hopefully he'll find what he needs.
I've got my own personal issues to work through, one of them being my father. Still no further forward on that, I keep gathering the courage and then losing it at the very last second. I guess I just need to suck it up and do it, almost like ripping a bandaid.
It's okay that it's taking me a while, it doesn't mean I'm weak willed or even cowardly, it's just a big step.
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