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We All Have Needs [22 Dec 2004|01:51am] [ mood | pissed off ] Tristan's skin tickled from the various hairy spider legs running amok over him and between him and the web. It had been going on for several minutes now. All those little baby spiders had begun to move, running over his face and hands and neck. He tried to remain calm. It still wasn't time. He kept his eyes shut through most of the ordeal. Eventually the spiders stopped moving, and suddenly he felt a falling sensation. He jerked his eyes opened and saw the ground rushing at him. The web had been cut down, and now dinner was to be served. Tristan's eyes fell onto big Daddy spider. The tiny spiders could not fit on even one hair on this beast's leg. Some sort of liquid was dripping from the shape changer's spider mouth. As the stuff landed on the web, the sticky substance vanished. Tristan knew this was it. The spider had cut him down so that Daddy could peel him from the web like a peel off of a banana, and then eat him from head to toe. One problem for the spider, however. Tristan was different. He wasn't a human. The poisonous paralyzing venom had worn off, and Tristan was not powerless anymore. As soon as the webbing had been freed from most of his legs, Tristan kicked out. He had the element of surprise on his side. The baby spiders took off in fear or shock, and the Daddy spider was stunned, kicked in it's head region and knocked backwards against the far wall. The liquid from it's gaping maw fell onto Tristan's boots, and he pulled them back quickly in fear that they too would disintegrate. His feet remained intact, however. Tristan quickly rolled over onto his stomach and kicked himself upwards like a worm or a snake. He landed on his heels and writhed his body and arms until he broke totally free of the webbing. When he turned to face his foe, he wore his vampire face. In a rage he threw himself at the spider. They rolled over and over, crushing baby spiders beneath them. Tristan fought with fangs and fingers and knees and elbows, always being careful to keep the things mouth away from him. Tristan's fangs finally found the throbbing organ that served as the spider's heart. He ripped at it, twisting his face and chin so that it tore clean in two. The spider fell in a heap, dead. Tristan remained lying there, next to the beaten beast. All the small spiders had vanished when their Daddy was no more. Tristan closed his eyes in relief. Then he pulled himself up off of the dirty ground. He patted himself down, shaking the dust from his jacket and boots. He knew he must look a frightful mess. The sun was down. He could smell the night, and he'd had enough of these bloody caves. It was time to return to Vegas. He needed to check on his father. He needed a bath. He needed a woman. He needed a meal. He needed this bloody month to be over! reply

Roses and Razorwire for Time Spent Together [22 Dec 2004|04:12am] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | Uninvited by Alanis Morissette ] December was half asleep, lying curled on her uninjured side in the center of her bed. Her eyes were shut and she'd long since ditched her clothes for her nightgown, which was a cute, short white soft cotton one, with spaghetti straps and hooks up the front. A little cartoon skull was printed near the straps, black ribbons holding the straps together. Her blankets were snuggled around her, and she was trying desperately to stop replaying what had happened earlier over and over in her mind. She just wanted to shut it out, stop feeling her shoulder crack, stop hearing him laugh, stop seeing her blood in his mouth...all of it. She wanted to stop seeing that deadness in his eyes. She wanted to stop feeling sick. She wanted a hell of a lot right now, like more pain meds, though she wasn't due for another hour or so. She was debating taking more anyways. Might help her state of mind. Jade stood in front of the bottom door to December's stairs for at least ten minutes. Finally he shook off his indecision and tested the knob, surprised to find it unlocked. She had locked it behind her the first time he'd been over. He walked up the stairs and paused again in front of her door. Silence. No music, no television. No lights that he could see; a dim glow came from underneath the door. He frowned slightly. Then he raised his hand and knocked on the door. December gasped at the sudden sound, after hours of silence. She half propped herself up on her good arm, and stared at the door. Jade. she thought. She could practically feel him there, just on the other side of the door. "...who is it?" she called anyways, the sound hoarse and quiet, so she cleared her throat and tried again. "Who is it?" "Who do you think it is?" he answered. The way she sounded worried him, and he twisted the knob as if that would make it open. "December, let me in, c'mon." ( bruises ) ( tell me a story ) ( Roses (rated r just to be safe) ) ( Razorwire ) reply

Fears [22 Dec 2004|09:48am] [ mood | scared ] [ music | Kimberly's Ghost by Dope ] I woke up early. Stopped breathing, got zapped, now I'm awake. I'm still tired, sick, and confused. I'll go back to sleep in a little while, I just thought I'd write my thoughts down right now while I'm feeling honest with myself. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing it. Nothing about this seems to be making any sense to me. He's asleep. I have a man in my bed, and he's sleeping. And this is his second time doing it. There shouldn't have been a first time, let alone a second. Yet there he is. He has this...peacefullness on his face. I'm a little envious. When I slept, all I did was dream of what happened, or dreamed of that woman. Evil Fairy Godmother. I don't know. I know I didn't imagine her. I don't want to think about her. I don't want to think about any of it. So I won't. I'll think of my much more immediate problem. Jade. The stupid thing is that he shouldn't be a problem. He should just have given up by now. He should have realized that I'm nothing but trouble for him. It's bothering me more and more that I don't understand why he hasn't...or that he has and he just doesn't care. It's bothering me that he's such a good boy. Genuinely a good person, and I can't deal with that. I'm getting to the point where I just don't want to hurt him. Where I'm honestly overwhelmed sometimes with how guilty I feel about everything when it comes to him. I've never felt that way. I've never given enough of a damn about anyone to feel this way. And yet. He just looks at me with those eyes and he just keeps showing up and I keep seeing that it honestly effects him...the things that happen to me. So he obviously cares a great deal about me. Which is the part I don't get. The obsession I can understand. Obsession is simple. Objectified. Driven. But if he was just obsessed with me wouldn't it not make him look like someone ran over his dog when he saw what'd been done to me? Maybe that's it. I'm his new pet. Or pet project...in his story he was the boy who wanted to slay the dragons for me. I wonder if he does. If that's what this is really about, at the bottom of it. I wonder if he just wants to save me. If he does, then he's in for a rude awakening...if he ever finds out. God, last night I'd been so close to just telling him, thinking he'd leave. But fuck. I told him I killed someone and he barely blinked. Instead he just...comforted me. Told me it was ok. What does that say?! I need help. I can't do this. I can't sit here and watch him sleep and dream his dreams and not know that his shoulder's all fucked up because of me. That I've stolen from him and he doesn't even know it. I don't know what he wants me to be, but whatever it is, I can't be it. I don't know what he sees when he looks at me but I'm willing to bet that I'm not her. I don't know how else to show him that. How to get him to understand it. I don't know how to get rid of him, and the worst part of it all is I'm starting to not want to. But it's not right, it really isn't. I couldn't justify a...relationship? If that's what he'd even want? If not then what is it that he'd want? The chemistry is there. Sometimes overwhelmingly there. He could have had me if he'd forced the issue...been willing to take me. I'm not used to that either. I've never taken the time for relationships, because of what I am. Up until now? That's worked out great for me. I haven't even found myself attracted to anyone, but. Now I am. Attracted and curious. I don't want to be either but there it is. There's so many reasons but lately what I keep coming back to is just...he doesn't deserve the things I've done to him. Or will do. I know me. I'm not going to be able to stop. Nothing's going to have a happy ending, no matter how many stories he tells me. ...jesus, that's something else. The stories. I ask, he tells. Now that I'm thinking about it? I don't think he's denied me anything since we met. The only thing he adamently refuses to do is leave. Fuck. I need help. I need to...I don't know. Find him someone who won't fuck him over like I'm bound to...fuck, already have. Maybe I can do that... God I hate this! He makes me feel bad for being me!!!!! ...and here's yet more stupidity. I can't stop looking over at him, and I'm wondering who he is. Why he's got rediculously cute boxers on that seem not to quite match up with what I've seen of him. Where he's from. I know the south somewhere, from the accent, but where? Does he have family? What's his life been like? I wonder what he dreams about when he actually gets sleep. I'm a little intrigued. He's here, and he seems to be sleeping alright. I know he doesn't sleep well, even when he doesn't say he hasn't. I can see it both with my normal senses, and just in the way his energy flow works. I didn't even take any... Which brings me full circle to the present problem. I've noticed something. I don't need to take any...it's scaring me. By now I should at least have a little room to fill, but I don't. It's like...it's like taking it all gave it an extra kick...completed it. If it keeps up...I won't have to take any for a while. And that's just...that's fucking scary. I didn't know it would do that...I don't want to think about it. I guess that's my general theme right now. Fear. I FUCKING HATE IT. I've never been the scared type. Nothing scares me. But right now I've got three things scaring me. The Evil Glinda, Jade, and me. All three of which I have no fucking clue what to do about. I should never have come here. I reread my last entry and realized I'd actively been thinking about suicide. I've never done that. I need to go back to sleep. Oh yeah...I realized that yesterday was my birthday. Happy fucking birthday to me. reply

Father Knows Best [22 Dec 2004|04:37pm] [ mood | lonely ] Tristan had walked all night, and he was in a terrible mood. He could smell the sun as he finally reached "Heaven's Peak". He went straight to the bar and ordered a Guiness, drinking it all in one gulp. "Will you please tell Bethany that Tristan is here? I've come for my father. I'm sure she'll be relieved." The bartender lifted an eyebrow before gesturing to a man stood off to one corner. As the larger man came closer, the bartender leaned in and whispered something. The man nodded his head and turned his attention to Tristan." You'll need to follow me." Tristan nodded and threw a wad of bills on the bar counter. He peered into his wallet. He was running low and would have to fix that soon. He followed the other man down to the basement. This was new. The sound of flesh hitting flesh could be heard. Footsteps seemed to echo in the small basement and the one light swung backwards and forwards. As it did, flashes of Bethany and another man could be seen. Both were bruised and bloody but neither one seemed in danger of falling over dead. Bethany attacked, the man blocked but she caught him with a sneak hit to his head. He staggered forward. His face shifting from human to vampire before he turned back around to attack Bethany. He caught her nose and tugged on her hair to flip her over his back. Bethany's body sailed before it crashed to the ground. A loud crack sound could be heard but Bethany didn't allow the pain to phase her. She rolled back and then flipped to her feet. As she did, her brown eyes caught sight of Tristan and she held up a hand as if to say 'enough.' The fight was obviously over as the vampire nodded his head and returned to his things which seemed to be laid to one side." Hello Tristan." Bethany finally spoke. A hand lifted to remove the blood streaming from her bottom lip. Tristan admired the dual. The smell of sweat and blood tickled his nostrils. He was hungry, and not just for blood. The sight of Bethany's blood screamed out to him as she turned in greeting, but he held himself in check. He nodded stiffly. "Hello Bethany. Doing some light training I see?" " Something like that." Bethany turned her attention back to the dark haired vampire who appeared to be shrugging his way back into a rather expensive shirt." This is Marco, he's been my trainer for years." Marco's blue eyes turned to rest on Tristan and a nod was given before he returned to dressing." And to what do I owe the pleasure, Tristan?" Tristan rubbed at his face and tried to give Bethany a smile. "I've come to take my father off of your hands. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. I'm sure he's been a royal pain. I sort of...was tied up...but I really appreciate you letting him take harbor here." Tristan looked her up from head to toe. She looked good enough to eat. He smiled at Marco. "Pleasure to meet you, I'm sure." Bethany laughed lightly and nodded her head." He has been a pain. I've really left him to it. He hasn't ventured much outside of his room." She walked to where her clothes were and a satin black hooded sweatshirt was slipped over her arms. She zipped up the front and the material hugged her curves." We'll need to take a car. I had him put up in a hotel not too far from here. The car has dark tinted windows." She released her blonde hair and it fell around her shoulders. Tristan reached over and helped untuck her long hair from the collar of her shirt. His fingers tingled with the soft touch. "I'm glad he wasn't too much trouble then." He smiled and replaced his hands into his jacket pockets. "Lead the way." ( Uninvited ) Tristan turned from the window and looked at Bethany with dark and haunted eyes. "Would you stay with me tonight?" Bethany paused midstep. Her head turned and brown eyes rested on Tristan. She had not expected that but he had done the same for her and it was obvious, he needed someone. She walked back to him and she lifted both hands to stroke through his hair." Of course." She rested her hands on the back of his neck before she raised herself up. Her lips met his cheeks and there was tenderness in her touch. Bethany was very capable of human emotion, she just chose not to show it a lot. Tristan wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He wasn't hungry anymore. He found a shelter in her arms. A vampire that just wanted someone to hold him? How pathetic. He hid his face in her shoulder and shuddered in her arms. He would never admit it, but he was scared. He was homeless, he was hunted, and he was alone..."Thank you," he whispered into her shoulder. reply

The Holy and the Heretical [22 Dec 2004|07:17pm] [ mood | curious ] Occasionally, the heady scent of incense became too much. Mercy loved her church and its congregants, in spite of its condition. From the outside, it still looked a mess. They had made much improvement to the sanctuary inside, but left the outer shell in disrepair to discourage anyone but the faithful from entering. But sometimes, it was just too much. She needed some time away, with her thoughts and prayers. Mercy smiled to herself as she passed the newly painted sign in front of the church, a gift from some of her congregants; white with black calligraphic script reading ‘Our Lady of Sorrows'. She continued her walk, making her way further away from the little town. Aidan wasn't spending a lot of time at home lately. It was easier that way. He and Emmy spoke in terse words now and again, but nothing more. The closest thing to a real conversation had been days before, when she had quietly told him of the new help in the shop. And that had been it. He had taken to going on walks alone in the evening. He hadn't many friends in Searchlight, he had realized, much to his own dismay. Taryn had left. He supposed now and again that he could call her, but it would seem strange, and stranger still with every day that passed. There was Connor, of course, but even that would seem something of an imposition, at least to Aidan himself. Everyone had made their own little connections and settled into them. There wasn't much left for him. ( Repent ) reply

Messages Before Leaving. [22 Dec 2004|10:26pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Glycerine, by Bush ] I'm headed off to England with Dawn, plane leaves in an hour and a half, I've got everything all packed and in the car...just got to make some phonecalls. I called Rhiannon already. She doesn't sound so good either. Does everything in this town suck all the time?? Fuck. ( Voicemail for Aidan ) ( Voicemail for Nyx ) ( Voicemail for William ) I have no idea where to get ahold of Gwen, so I just left a note for her in the mailbox. I've got to get us going. ....England here we come, you'd better have something to help this. reply

Endless [22 Dec 2004|10:38pm] [ mood | blank ] ------ Non Journal Entry ------ A punch to the abdomen resulted in a sudden cough. It erupted from deep within Jordan's chest and as she scrambled to fill her lungs, her broken ribs ached and throbbed." Is this what you guys do for fun?" She asked with a weak laugh at the end. Her hands curled before they flattened against the cool stone floor. She was free of the chair but she was far from free. In fact, they had kept her on the ground since releasing her. Punches and kicks were their main method of attack. They seemed to enjoy of the actual hard work of it all. Her question angered one of the lackeys and he released a grunt as his boot caught her chin. Jordan's head snapped back and her entire body followed through. She ended up on her back and for a moment, her world seemed to spin. The urge to pass out was overwhelming but Jordan fought it tooth and nail. She would not do that. No matter what happened. She would not pass out. It would mean that they had won and Jordan was not a good loser. It came from having such a large family not to mention three brothers. Brothers she constantly fought and bickered with. She would not pass out. She had lost count of her injuries but she knew that there were many and some were worse than others. Blood and sweat streaked her skin and her once clean clothes were stained and dirt had found its way under her fingernails. She hadn't eaten in days; the only thing that Xavier had allowed her was water. In Jordan's mind, it was better than nothing and she hadn't complained. Jordan took a breath in and winced at the pain in her chest, the pain grew with each passing day and she randomly noted that it changed from a shocking blazing pain to a dull throb. Jordan was tugged upwards by a hand curled around her shirt. Those green eyes of hers met the deep yellow of the one vampire." Do you enjoy pain or something? All we ask for is a little scream. Too much to ask for?" The vampire growled at her. His hand tightened in the material of her shirt until the collar was pulled so tight it was nearly choking her. “You know what?" Jordan asked. Blinking her eyes a few time in the vain attempt to clear her vision." Now that you mention it, it really really is." She shrugged her shoulders and gave the vampire a very weak smirk." I have this thing against screaming." The vampire snarled before he flung Jordan into the nearby wall." Only human." He murmured as Jordan hit the wall and crumpled to the ground. She could deal with so much abuse but if this went on for any longer Jordan wasn't sure if she could keep going. If she could keep being strong. Jordan was a realist, she wasn't an optimist nor was she a pessimistic but clear logic dictated there was little to no chance of being found so therefore, she should go out with a bang. But as she thought about it, it wasn't so much of a bang but at least she knew she hadn't given in. She would know that they had tried to break her and they hadn't succeeded. They had not won. Lifting her head, Jordan rested her eyes on the two vampires. They advanced back on her and this cycle began all over again. It would never stop; it would only stop when Jordan was dead. On days like these, she wished she was a Slayer or knew something more about vampires. reply

Thursday, 11 a.m. [22 Dec 2004|10:50pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Downfall - Matchbox 20 ] Jade had awakened early, when December's monitor went off. He'd vaguely realized that she'd gotten up, and he'd dropped back into a hazy sleep. He was fading in and out of disturbing dreams, more than likely brought on by the trigger of her vivid scrapes and bruises. Bits and pieces were all he could ever remember: the sound of flesh hitting flesh, soft cries in the middle of the night, the sight of anguished dark eyes and discoloring skin the next morning. A journey by car, again at night. Riding across unfamiliar roads, seeing the outline of her head in the driver's seat, hearing the soft counterpoint of mumbled words and not being able to hear exactly what they were. Then stopping, being frightened at the sound of loud, angry voices. Being pulled from the car and placed in the familiar passenger seat of a truck. Riding. And he never saw her again. ( be my savior and I will be your downfall ) reply

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