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The page turned on this chapter [20 Dec 2004|12:23am] [ mood | frustrated ] ( Bittersweet Requiem ) It's over.  Mom's back where she belongs.  She remember, everything.  She was mom at least for a minute.  She forgave Akai for her murder. She forgave the person who slit her throat.  Spilled her blood all over our home.  Why?  She's evil.  She's fucking evil.  She killed everyone she loved.  How was this right in anyway? reply

(Backdated) Saturday, Early Afternoon [20 Dec 2004|12:55am] [ mood | curious ] Jade left his room just after noon, feeling refreshed. He'd actually slept five hours nonstop. His hair was still damp from his shower, and he yawned as he began the short walk to the Diner. He was actually hungry today. Only thing was, Searchlight needed more restaurants. He pushed through the door and found an empty table, pulling a menu off the rack in front of him. Gwen was already there, buying her usual (cheap) meal of a cup of coffee and bowl of soup. She brought her own (kinda sickly looking) sandwich in a brown paper bag, and unwrapped it with a tiny grin. Jade heard the crackle of paper and glanced up. At the table next to his sat someone he recognized. Somewhat, since he'd gotten stinking drunk the night they'd met. He'd been introduced to her, but he couldn't remember her name. He caught her eye. "Hi," he said. Gwen looked up from her less-than-awesome lunch and smiled at him, recognizing him immediately. "Hey you! Have a seat! Didn't really wanna eat alone anyhow." ( when Jade met Gwen ) reply

Voicemail for Joseph [20 Dec 2004|01:08am] "Joseph... it's me. *takes a breath* I miss you. I wanted you to know that. I think I've listened to your message eight times now. Every time, I ask myself why I'm not calling you back, and I think the reason is that you're the only person who makes me drop all the barriers I put up. You know? All that tough front that doesn't really exist. *pauses* And then I'd just lose any grip I had on self-control. I'd cry and beg you to come here, and you would, and you'd let me break because you're selfless. Maybe that's not bad, because I think it might help, but I don't know when I'll be able to stop crying once I really start. I think I've just been putting that off as long as possible. *pauses* But he's gone, now. We did the spell today. So I dunno, maybe time's up. Maybe if I keep holding it in, I'll make myself so sick inside that it'll never go away. That's why I'm going to Detroit. I have to see. I need to know how it happened, and where they buried him. I have to take care of his things, if there's anything left. That's what good daughters do, right? *voice breaks* Was I a good daughter? I'm not sure anymore. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I waited too long to try and help him. So I've got to do the right thing by him now. It's really important. I've messed up so much lately, and I think I can't afford any more mistakes. Tristan killed a Slayer, he just... broke her. If I could go back and keep him from hurting her-- God, this isn't even the time for that. *fidgets with pack of cigarettes* I don't think I have much longer before this thing cuts me off. I wanted to tell you I love you. I don't know if I do it enough, or show you enough. God, Joseph I love you so much. You're my whole heart, and you're the only one that's kept me in my right mind. No matter what happens, you need to know that you're the one, okay? *fumbles with lighter* God, I'm such a train wreck. Matthew's still unconscious from the spell, and here I am taking off for Detroit because there's an empty house waiting for me. I'm beyond logic. *gets cigarette lit* I have to go, my plane's leaving in less than an hour and I'm still outside the airport. I love you. You're the first person I want to see when I get back. Bye, Joseph." reply

[20 Dec 2004|02:47am] "Where do you think you're going, Maragos?" Monty's voice carried throughout the cavern. Several rows of spines puckered his skin, making him resemble a dog whose hackles were raised. Some of Hayden's crew members turned to look, neglecting their construction duties. Hayden froze on his way past the water coolers. He knew he looked suspicious. He was headed in the wrong direction, out of the cavern, at the end of his meal break. Think. "To the supply truck outside. My drill bit isn't getting through the rock." Monty eyed Hayden for a few seconds more. Eventually, the spines relaxed. "You should consider notifying me in the future, should your tools prove insufficient. Are we understood?" Hayden nodded. "Loud and clear, sir." He met the eyes of a few crew members before continuing on. It took several minutes to work his way through a mine shaft to the surface. Outside, the sky was dark and clear. Hayden circled behind the supply truck and made a show of digging through the tool boxes. When he was certain no one was watching, he pulled a cell phone from his pocket and began to dial. ( Voicemail for Mich ) ( Voicemail for Kris ) reply

Morning Sickness [20 Dec 2004|02:57am] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | Dead Souls by NIN ] The light filtering through the half-open window finally awakened Jade; it was midmorning and a ray of sunlight hit him right in the face. He was confused for maybe twenty seconds, and then he realized where he was and why he could barely move his shoulder, which was blue and purple from what he could see of it. His view was blocked by December, who was sleeping with her cheek pressed against his chest. One of his arms was draped over her, holding her securely. December was soundly sleeping. The scrape and bruise stood out brightly on her cheek, and in her sleep she hugged her teddybear and snuggled a little closer to Jade. She went still after that, breathing deep and even, though it slowed...slowed, and finally stopped. She didnt breathe again for a few moments, it stretching to a minute, then her monitor on the bedside table beeped, and there was an electric zapping sound and she jerked violently, eyes popping open as she gasped, coming awake. Jade had forgotten the sleep apnea. He was glad she had remembered to put on her monitor, as out of it as they'd both been last night. "Hey, you," he said, his voice husky with sleep. He winced as he shifted his position slightly, his hand sliding up her back. "You alright?" Her initial reaction to hearing a voice in her bed was fear, and she violently pushed herself away, succeeding in getting twisted in the blankets and she fell off the end of the bed. After a moment, her voice came. "Fuck." A moment later she pushed herself to her hands and knees, and peeked over the end of the bed, black hair tossled and eyes tired. "...Jade." she greeted, not entirely sure what was going on yet. Her mind had yet to catch up. She reached up to pull the monitor off of her chest, and set it on the bedside table with a sigh. Surprised by her reaction, he had to think about what to say. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He shifted experimentally and bit his lip. "Uh, I'd help you up but I don't think I can get up right now." His shoulder was so sore that every move brought a sharp stab of pain. His eyes traveled around the room, taking in the lamp on the floor and the scorchy books that had been knocked from her bookcase. She looked around as well, bits and pieces of the night before coming back to her...as well as her awareness that she didn't feel well. She went to climb back onto the bed, and hissed when she put her hand down, turning it back over to eye the nasty scab there. She got to her feet and grimaced. "I hurt everywhere." she muttered, walking around the bed, teddybear still held under one arm, and she looked down at him, eyes locking onto his shoulder. Wasn't there supposed to be ice somewhere? Oh yeah. Towel, wet. Melted. She frowned, wondering if she even had any more ice, and she headed over to check. "..um...how're you feeling?" she asked, knowing she had to say something. "Like hell," Jade said, "but I know you gotta be feelin' even worse." He looked down at himself skeptically -- he was dressed only in the due-for-a-washing jeans he'd been wearing the day before. He vaguely remembered kicking his shoes off at some point. ( guild and remorse come with me ) ( getting playful ) reply

Consequences for Good Deeds [20 Dec 2004|07:37am] [ mood | violated ] [ music | Swan Dive by (HED) P.E. ] December was tired, the shakes had started, and she was hoping she wouldn’t have to wait long...she usually didn’t. Though she usually wasn’t scraped up, especially with one prominent one on her face. She was feeling cold, and the last good feelings that Jade had left her with were evaporating rapidly. Reality was kicking back in, and it was serving to make her angry with herself. She shouldn’t have let any of that happen. Who was she kidding? She didn’t get to have that kind of thing. She never would. Period, end of fucking story. She was really going to have to drive Jade away once and for all. For his own good. Surprisingly, she was caught off guard as a shadow fell over her, and she turned to look up at a large man, who was eyeing her in the right way. She didn’t even get a chance to smile or say a word before he did. “You ‘spensive or cheap?” ( cut for violence ) reply

Sick and tired. Mostly sick. [20 Dec 2004|01:31pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Kittie - "Into The Darkness" ] FROM THE SECRET DIARY OF GUINEVERE: Man.... this sucks. Ok. So.. my life has recently begun to suck like a three dollar ho. First, Dawn and Connor start acting all weird (understandable, due to the whole "return of mom" thing). Then Dawn gets sick and Connor understandably gets all moody and snappy. Then I try to make a new friend, but she gets all defensive and wont let me in. And she's TOTALLY mistreating this hot-ass guy, who looks at me like I'm chopped liver cuz he's only got eyes for the hot goth grrl. So, JUST as ONE cool thing happens (I made friends with Dawnie's dead mother. Dont ask) I get SICK! Yes. I would love to go to D&C's place, check on Dawnie and chat with Mrs. Summers, but I have a horrible flu. Dammit. I bet if Joyce knew she'd make me some chicken soup or something. She's cool and motherly like that. At least Sonya's letting me crash at her place till I'm better. Cuz this flu shit? It sucks, dude. S-U-C-K-S. I feel sleepytime coming on again... bah. reply

[20 Dec 2004|05:53pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Swan Dive by (HED) P.E. ] I went to the hospital. My right side is officially fucked up. Everything but the scrape on my cheek and the bruises on my back are there. I've got a dislocated shoulder...or had, they put it back right and gave me a sling and pain meds, told me not to use the arm for a while. I also got a mess of stitches on my back shoulder neck area...I'm sure there's a word for it but I'm too tired to think of it. They stitched me up and bandaged it and told me to not get the stitches wet. They noticed I'm sick, and suggested bed rest and lots of fluids. Keep bundled up since I can't seem to get warm. Which would be wonderful advice if it wasn't from fucking evil mistress of the damned taint. They gave me a flu shot and told me to come back for more care later, keep an eye out for infection from the bite wound...all that. Whatever. They also wanted me to hit the cop shop and tell them what happened, even if I didn't tell them what did. I didn't of course. I didn't say anything. Just got in, got out, went home. I've been here since. I shut up all my windows and pulled the shades. I don't feel good. It's the sickness in me. It's sunk down deep and I'm wondering if I'm going to drown in it. I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can get rid of it, it's so....ingrained. Maybe it just...woke something. Maybe I am evil. Maybe I always have been and this is just calling me to my true nature. But...no. I'm not, right? If I was, wouldn't this have happened a lot earlier? Wouldn't I have been a... I don't want to think about it. I'm afraid to turn on the radio. I don't want to know if anyone knows he's missing. I keep telling myself that I did the right thing. That he'd done it before and would do it again. That I did the world a favor. That he was a monster. But he wasn't, was he? He was a human being and I'm the freak monster. The fucking vampire. I don't know what to think I don't know what to feel, I just know that when everything isn't hurting, then everything is numb, and I can't tell which is worse. I've got the place lit by candles. I don't know if I'm just keeping the lights so low because I don't want anyone knowing I'm home (not that many know where I live) or if it's because the light hurts my eyes. I'm lying here and I'm wishing he was here with me. I hate myself for it. I don't want him here, I don't want him in my life, right? And now I'm not only a monster he might have to kill, but I'm a murderer. ...fuck.... I'm a murderer. And a murderer with an evil fairy godmother that hides bodies in the shadows, makes them go poof. Times like these make me wonder if I shouldn't do the world another favor. Go pick a tall building in Vegas and see if I can fly. Would be appropriate. One of my favorite songs after all...I've been listening to it a lot lately. I get to the top I stand on the edge I look to the sky, and say all my prayers What could be better than a swan dive into the asphalt I don't know, nothing can be better than a swan dive into the asphalt reply

Over And Over [20 Dec 2004|08:49pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] ------ Non Journal Entry ------ It was the same every night. Xavier didn't come but his lackeys did and those lackeys did as instructed. They hit and they cut until Jordan was left gasping for air or bleeding from her wounds. Every night, they told her to scream. To give into the inevitable. And every night, Jordan told them to go screw themselves. For that, she got hit again and again. It was a self-perpuating cycle, a cycle that had no clear ending. Death had never worried Jordan. She made her living by working with the dead and by investigating murders. Why would the idea of dying bother her? Over time, she had grown de-sensitized to the whole idea and she had long ago accepted that one day she would die and she had also accepted that it was uncontrollable. Death came for everyone, it was the one thing that everyone had in common Every night she lost more of her grip on reality. With each punch and with each new cut, her world was stripped from her. She was left to spiral through a sea of confusion and darkness. That was the one constant. They would leave her in darkness. They left her with the pain that had inflicted upon her. Her eyes dimmed but they did not lose their fire. She would not give into this, she would not give into him. She didn't care how long it took, she would not break and she would not scream for him. He would have to kill her first. reply

This Is My Life [20 Dec 2004|09:13pm] [ mood | indescribable ] I feel like I've been sat in this room for days when really, it's only been a few hours. I keep staring at the clock. I watch as the red digits tick away and I feel like I'm counting down. Three, two, one. Something will happen. But it doesn't, I sit here still watching the clock. My mind is a mess, I know I should go to work and yet something in my gut tells me not to. Two sides of myself warring with one another. One side will win, I know this. That's why I watch the clock. I'm waiting for the war to be over and I'm waiting to know if I should get dressed or call in sick. Such a simple decision and yet it's so complicated. More complicated than I ever thought possible. I've listened to Hayden's message so many times and I wish I could tell him that everything is okay but I can't. I would be lying and I made a vow never to lie to the one I love, not about the really important things. I should call him back but what do I say? "Oh hey Hayden, I think I killed someone but other than that? My life's fine" Not the sort of thing he needs to hear. Not right now. He has other things to worry about and besides he's already done enough for me. I should get back to him though, don't want him to be worried. Not right now. ( Voicemail to Hayden ) I'm going to grab a shower and then I'm going to buy a new lock for my door. If what Hayden says is really true, I don't want to be sleepwalking anytime soon. Eddy's wonderful, he's sticking close and doing the faithful dog bit to death but I appreciate it. And to think I was seriously contemplating getting a cat. Talk soon. reply

Baby Girl [20 Dec 2004|09:49pm] [ mood | productive ] ------ Non Journal Entry ------ Joseph had received and listened to Rhiannon's voicemail. He had heard the emotion in her voice and he understood completely. Family meant the world to him. He therefore understood her need to find her father's grave. He released a breath slowly as he drew into the town of Searchlight. With Rhiannon away, someone had to take care of the newest addition to her family and Joseph had keys. The car weaved its way through the streets slowly and drew to a smooth stop outside of Rhiannon's apartment. Joseph swung open the door on his car and stepped out into the blazing hot sun. His Stetson was shifted to shade his eyes from the light and the only thing that could be seen was his lightly stubbled cheek. The rings on his fingers caught the light and that same light was reflected off them and appeared to dance across the sand. The door was then shut and the man turned to walk towards her door. Booted feet paused in front of her door before slim fingers caught a hold of the key she had given to him. His key ring was the same as ever, a pair of dice. Symbolic of the life he led. He slipped the key into the lock and turned before he pushed open the door. As he did, a little ball of fluff bounded towards him and looked up at him with big owl like eyes." Hello gorgeous." He muttered with a slanted smile. The kitten meowed and started to rub herself against his legs." Flirt." Joseph teased before he dropped down into a crouch. His brown hand lifted to run across the kitten's head, his short nails scratched across her scalp and this caused her to purr. His hands folded around the kitten's midsection and as he stood, he hugged the kitten to his chest. She didn't seem to mind. In fact she made herself rather comfortable against him. Her paws were rested against the white material of his shirt and her claws had sunk right in and were tugging occasionally as she took to kneading him. He chuckled softly and simply wandered through to the kitchen." Hm, I wonder what there is to eat?" He mused out loud, looking to the kitten almost as if it could answer his question. Joseph pulled open one cupboard and located the kitten food." Ah, here we go." He was going to feed her and then take her back with him to Vegas just until Rhiannon came back. It was easier than coming out to Searchlight every day. Not that he didn't love the warm reception he usually received. The kitten's meows got loud and she batted at the tin with her paws. " Eh, eh, patience." He mock scolded the kitten before he knelt down to place the kitten against the ground. He needed both hands to serve her breakfast. The kitten seemed disgruntled for a moment before she simply sprawled herself across the floor. Those eyes of hers fixated on the loose threads of Joseph's jeans. The very same jeans he had walked holes in but did he care? Not at all. The kitten took to playing with them and a deep purr resonated from deep within her chest as her paws tangled up in the denim. Joseph ignored her and continued to serve the food. He made a slight face as the very fishy smell of the food washed over him." Mm tasty." He commented, his words laced with scepticism. He then crouched down to place the bowl against the ground. The kitten bounded towards it and was soon engrossed in eating. Joseph smirked lightly as he watched her eat. He ran his fingertips over the kitten's spine. The kitten squirmed to the touch but continued to eat. Joseph liked that about cats, you could stroke them whilst they were eating without fear of having your hand bitten. Something dogs had a tendency of doing. Joseph left her to it before he walked to Rhiannon's bedroom. Once there, he pulled a notepad from the back pocket of his jeans. A pen was flipped through his fingers before a note was scrawled. "Hey you, just thought you should know. I came over and took the baby girl home with me. She and I will be waiting for your return. Hope you're okay. Love you. Joseph. With that note written, Joseph removed his Stetson and ran his fingers down over the brim. He then placed the hat against the bed and tucked the note beneath it, he hoped she would get the note and the hat. He stroked a hand through his dark hair and smirked as a few strands stuck up at odd angles but it wasn't like he cared. Joseph didn't put much thought into his appearance. People either accepted that this was him or they didn't, it was their choice. He gathered a few things he would need for the kitten and loaded those things into his car before he went back into the apartment for the most important thing of all. The kitten herself. As his hands went around her, she nuzzled against him and began to purr into his arm. Joseph wandered out of the apartment and made sure to lock the door after him. It was time to go back to Vegas. reply

[20 Dec 2004|11:02pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | Another Hole in the Head - Nickelback ] ( tongue-tied from all the little things ) --Journal Entry-- Hell. I guess I better not try to work. What would I do if I ran across a vamp or even a drunk and disorderly in the middle of the night? Couldn't exactly subdue 'em. I've been fightin' it off all evening, but I know what I'm gonna do. What else can I do? Time to go check on December; I know she wouldn't be sensible enough to go see a doctor. Actually I'm not sure if a doctor could help her, anyway. I wanna make sure she got home alright. I'm just not gonna think about what she probably spent the afternoon doin'. Chere. I called her chere. Surprised the hell out of me. I don't usually say that to a girl unless I'm inside her at the time. reply

One More Minute [20 Dec 2004|11:43pm] [ mood | content ] ------ Non Journal Entry ------ Devon stirred slowly as something told him it was time to wake up. He shifted in the bed and that's when he registered a warmth up against him. He opened one eye very slowly and he inhaled as there in his arms was Milly. Her dark hair rested across her delicate features. The memory of the night before washed over Devon and a blush found both his cheeks. Three hundred years or so of life and he still blushed when he thought of those things. Would he never learn? Probably not. He tightened his arms around her and drew her closer. He had never expected this. He had been alone for so many years; the thought of finding someone like Milly had been the furthest thing from his mind. But it had happened and he was glad for that. He ran one hand over her collarbone before his slender fingers caught her hair and that hair was tucked behind her ear. His eyes lingered on her face as she slept. Her chest rose and fell slowly and she made the cutest noises as she moved in her sleep. Devon bowed his head to place a kiss to the skin just under her ear. He paused there and drank in her scent. His senses were better than any other and he currently loved that fact. He also noted that her skin being pressed against his own was doing very funny things to his head. Things he liked. " Beautiful." He murmured before he simply kissed her cheek and he traced her cheek, jaw line and neck with the tip of his nose. A small growl rumbled from deep within his chest, an affectionate sound. Some of the beast coming out through Devon. For once, the voice was quiet and Devon was allowed peace. A peace that often took many hours of meditation to achieve but one night and one morning with Milly in his arms had silenced the beast. This was something he had to remember. Another breath escaped him as his eyes slid shut and Devon's arms tightened around Milly once more. One hand stroked over her side, memorising the curve before it ran across her stomach. To his rough hands, her skin felt like silk. That hand came to rest against her stomach and Devon simply nuzzled closer. His face was buried in the crook of her neck and his eyes slid shut. He would move in a couple of hours, maybe. If he had the heart. reply

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