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Nyx and I had a wonderful time on vacation. We window shopped at the various antique shops in Sisters, Oregon. We Christmas shopped in Bend, and ate candle light dinners in this very romantic restaurant called The River's Edge. The Prime Rib melted in my mouth! But best of all was just being safe and warm and alone with Nyx. I love him more every day. Is that possible?
A strange thing happened as we pulled into Vegas this afternoon, however. We thought we'd have lunch at the greek diner where we first met. It was lovely, but bitter sweet because we knew we had to get back to real life now that we have returned to Searchlight. As we pulled out of town we had to stop at a red light for pedestrians to cross the street. I gasped suddenly, and Nyx looked at me with concern. My throat tightened and I know I was almost shaking in my seat. I swear that one of the women walking by on the cross walk was my dead mother. As sure as I sit here before this laptop, it was my mother. The light changed green, and Nyx proceeded to exit onto the highway. I craned my neck, still unable to breathe let alone speak. I lost her in the hustle and bustle of the crowd.
Nyx said it wasn't possible that it had been her. I mean, really, I had to identify my parents bodies. They had been killed over ten years ago now in a very gruesome car accident. A drunk driver hit them head on. My father's face was smashed, and unrecognizable. I had to identify his body from a picture. But my mother, my mom looked asleep, from the neck down. The rest of her was mangled, I'm sure, but she looked so peaceful, I could hardly believe she was really gone.
Nyx said maybe that is why I thought this woman was her. For some reason, I wanted it to be her. But after all these years? I swear I'm over that. I miss my parents, every day, but I've made a life for myself. I'm happy, and I have the bar and my calling, and a partner to share it all with.
Why would I see her now?
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