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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Eulogy for a Ghost by Clutch |
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//firewalled against everyone//
I'm so tired. It feels like I can't get enough sleep, and when I do, I have weird dreams. Sometimes the nightmare of course, but...I don't know. Lately there have been new ones. Not memory based ones, just...weird stuff. Like with Dawn. I keep dreaming that she...leaves. But it's weird. Not like she's angry and she leaves me like breaks up with me, just...she's gone. My psych 101 is telling me it's just a typical anxiety dream, but that doesn't really make me feel any better when I'm wandering around inside my head when I sleep, searching for her. Maybe it's the sudden lack of time spent with her talkin. Gwen's still in full self destruct mode, so I've had to be following her around at night. There was the one night...but Rhi watched her that night for me. Go Rhi. I have to talk to her anyways, I've got something for her. Kind of a thank you for covering for me on Gwen duty.
I'm worried about stuff though. Not just Gwen. The psycho bible banger vamps for one. I couldn't get anything out of the one Rhi caught. Though I did find out how much you can hack off a vamp before it dusts. Then there's Dawn. Dawn's got me worried. She does this electric shock thing...and sometimes she's hot to to the touch. I don't know what it is but it's starting to freak me out. At first I was just telling myself that it was...well just here stuff. But now I'm not so sure. It hasn't seemed to go away. It's at random, as far as I can tell. I don't know what to do about it. I'm worried about it, but who to talk to about it? She doesn't really seem to want to talk about it, and...well if it's stuff to do with her, there's not much I can say to people that wouldn't bring up the Key stuff which she doesn't want too many people knowing about.
The kid, he's trying to tell me something too. I've seen him a few times now. Tavi, Dawn calls him. (and as a side note, she's right. he is a cute little thing barring the gaping chest wound) When he's not playing hide and seek with random objects in the house, he points at her, but I have no idea what he's pointing at. I get the feeling it's important though. Maybe he can see something we can't. As far as I can tell, he doesn't grasp english too well. He can say some things, but usually it's just a word here or there, and he usually dissapears again after he talks. Guess it takes something out of him to do it or something. In my studies, I've learned that that's not that uncommon. I've heard him say 'broken' more than once though, which you know? As words go, I could do without that one. That one just sounds ominous, and I've had it with ominous. Fuck ominous.
Guess I'll just have to wait and see what the hell is going on. And hope those dreams quit already.
//end firewall//
Things Not To Bitch About:
-Dawn waits up for me every night, which is helping with my mental state so much there aren't words to express it
-She got me a little cat stuffed animal with a gun. I put it in the front window. It's great and Church hates the shit out of it. Joy.
-Being out stalking Gwen has given me a chance to lessen the vampire and demon population of the town slightly. (not that it'll help for long, but still I was starting to feel guilty about slacking on that)
To Do:
-Get Gwen off of her current downward spiral, or get someone to help babysit her
-Spend some more time with Dawn (yeah, this is always on the list)
-Call my mom back about Holiday stuff (she wants me n Dawn to visit for christmas)
-Check in on people, namely Aidan, Rhi, Nyx, William, that Jade guy
-Talk to the watcher types about the new slayers if they haven't already caught up with them
-Talk to Aidan and company, maybe see about Jade's little problem
-Take a bath sans anything remotely dead nearby, and SLEEP
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confused