| Once More With Zombies |
[18 Oct 2004|12:13am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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The Bloodhound Gang-Fire Water Burn |
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Whee, more stitches. And meds, though they make it all more bearable even if what I told Connor earlier was true: it does feel like I did mushrooms and got eaten by a bear. Another plus: no more nightmares, though I still think the meds were responsible for that one dream...you don't know the meaning of frightening until you've been in a town with a demon-inspired musical plague, then revisit that in a dream only with zombies in the cast. Yeah. I just had to pass the image on in hopes that it'll scar other people and leave me alone.
But enough of that. Considering how much worse things could have been with those injuries and in general that night, I'm just grateful things turned out as well as they did. Granted, I know folks didn't want away from that unscathed. Connor despite trying to shove away concern was injured, and from him I heard about Rhiannon as well. Oz and Illyria are fine thankfully though past that I'm not too sure about anyone else. Once I'm more coherent, I'll call around and ask how folks are doing. I'd head out and just ask in person, though I'm not quite up to that yet. Still, if people stop this way I'll be happy to see any and all of them.
In the meantime, I'll just be that demon and those possessing spirits are gone, the cleansing spell went off successfully and hopefully that reduce tension in the town enough for the locals to stop looking as though they'd like to lynch us. I'd settle for being ignored, thanks.
And that's it, I'm going back to bed.
//firewalled from everyone//
Connor was such a sweetheart. I know, more badass points down the drain but it's so true. He stuck with me all the time we were in the hospital, even to the point of arguing with the hospital staff about it and stayed up almost all night just to be sure I wouldn't roll onto my slashed-up side. Considering he was injured and needed rest just as much, I'm not too happy about it. But it's still touching in a way that I'd be gushing like a fourteen year old if I weren't so groggy at the moment. At least thanks to me, he's staying inside for the time being and not out straining himself further. That's a relief, especially since I don't know what I'd do if...yeah, I don't want to even think about that. I barely could when Connor mentioned something about me being Illyria's guide if something happened to him. I'm all for gallows humor normally but...not when it's about him.
It's weird to think about how little time I've actually been here and how much he's a part of my life now but I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish I wasn't such a coward when it comes to letting him know that.
//end firewall//
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[18 Oct 2004|03:53pm] |
Connor hadn't slept much, as he'd anticipated. The wheels of his mind kept spinning and they wouldn't shut up long enough to let him sleep. Plus, every time Dawn tried to roll over onto her hurt side he stopped her. In her happily pain medicated state, however, she hadn't woken up. So he was very, very tired, his shoulder was really sore, yet he was still awake. He watched her sleep. He'd been watching her sleep most of the night. He listened to her breathe, and played with her hair, and just watched silently. She was beautiful, even if she was a little too pale at current from blood loss. Either that or being a nocturnal person like him. Either way it didn't matter to him.
In her medicated state, Dawn thankfully didn't have any of the nightmares that had plagued her of late. She nuzzled into Connor and stayed close against him, seemingly soothed by his touch whenever she got too restless in her sleep or something such. Though even the meds couldn't keep her asleep forever and at some point, she stirred into something resembling wakefulness, Connor's name groggily on her lips.
( Waking up...for a little while, anyway. )
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| poverty sucks |
[18 Oct 2004|08:51pm] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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I need a drink. And a demon to kill. And maybe a chocolate bar.
Yeah, that'd be good. A king size one with the Hershey logo on it. Oh, with almonds. Can't forget the almonds. Cuz' a hershey's bar ain't nothin' without the almonds, ok?
And I also need gas for the bike, and women, and lots of cash. Oh! And maybe some new sunglasses. I think I left the old ones back in LA.
But I'm not even in LA. Damn, I wish I was. I'm somethin' there, y'know? The girls faling all over me, right at my feet. I'll tell ya, that's the life back there.
But no! I'm in fucken Searchlight, Nevada. Who names a town Searchlight? Searchlights are supposed to be bright and pretty and stuff. This town looks like some asshole spilled his coffee all over it. Cuz' damn, it's hot. Doesn't it ever fucken rain here? You know. The thing with the clouds and the water and the umbrellas?
That's it...I need to find a bar NOW. Or a bed...or a...hey is that a Mcdonalds? Cheeseburgers. God, yes. Wait...gotta find the dough. Where is it? Ugh, stupid change! God, I can't even steer a bike while trying to get out some fucken quarters.
That's better. And now if I can just get the smokes behind me...
Oh shit. There's a wall there isn't it? Ow...fuck.
Unconcious now. See you in the morning.
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| Too Much Time Alone |
[18 Oct 2004|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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I'm beginning to think I've been spending too many nights inside. How did I come to this conclusion?
I've been watching a lot of movies and one has struck a chord within me. "Equilibrium" and most especially the quote. " Without love, without anger, without sorrow, breath is just a clock ticking." It makes me wonder about my own life and if I'm not doing what I should be doing. If I'm not living it the way it should be lived.
I've been in Searchlight for such a long time and I've achieved nothing but when I really sit down to think about it. I've made friends; I've formed connections but is this enough? Have I enough in this place? I just feel like I'm not doing enough, there's so much darkness and so much evil lurking in the shadows and I feel I should be doing something about it.
I suppose I'm also lonely. I'm so used to being part of a pack, I'm used to having them around me and I don't have anything like that now. It feels strange, I have no-one to look out for and I have no-one to watch my back. I'll have to adjust, it's that simple. Life is about change, some of it isn't always good and some can be so amazingly good, you have to pinch yourself to believe it's actually happening. And then there's some change that's inevitable and unavoidable, that's usually the most trying and it's the one that builds the most character.
Perhaps it's time to hunt, to let the beast have its freedom. If I keep control, the beast and I can be one. Just for one night.
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